 We awake without the expected hangover after sharing the evening with some other British Tourists but it is pouring down, what a crazy summer. They have had the hottest temperatures ever and now the coolest ever summer temperatures recorded, Sydney has had rain for the past week whilst Victoria is still crying out for it and then there is 23% of Queensland that is flooded. We set off for Bermagui but it is too small for a two day wet weather stay so we continue north to Narooma calling in at Camel Rock
and Mystery Bay just as the sun came out to make them look their best.
We try to get to a Aborigine site, Mimosa Rocks, its on a dirt road, that is now wet and the further we go the steeper it gets. Suddenly on a bend the road turns into two large ruts and just drops away. We stop and attempt a 23 point turn, several skids, wheel spins, engine stalls and huge amounts of perspiration we get to face the opposite direction. The track we had slid down looks a lot more formidable now we have to go up it but by leaning forward, using a lot of 1stand 2nd gears, losing even more perspiration we manage to reach a sealed road. That’s the last dirt road we take in the wet especially as now the drivers seat is wetter than the outside of the van…….It poured with rain during the night and sounded similar to 12 Salvation Army personnel collecting charity funds and all shaking their tin cans at the same time. We spend the morning watching the waves crashing onto the rocks, out comes the sun, so we are off. First stop en-route to Tilba Tilba, turning around to get off 22kms of dirt road, Second stop Tilba Tilba, we ask ourselves, Why did we come here? Its an aged hippie town where after passing the multi coloured cheese cloth clothes, the alpaca shop and original wood turning shop, where photographs were banned, we find the only shop of interest to us, the coffee shoppe…… We go to the boardwalk and get asked to help a guy to look for octopus or squid, we fail to find any, so did he, a good result as far as we are concerned. Before we can go and get some takeaway calamari, some guy is tapping me on the shoulder (they really are that friendly) and points out some fur seals.
 We then spend the next 2 hours trying to get as close as possible to them for a decent photo, we succeed in getting to within 6 ft of them when they climb out of the water and sunbathe on the rocks. Eventually we decide to leave them and go for an early dinner so we can spend the evening deleting some of the 257 photos we had taken.
We go to the Golf club and order our meals, the lady, who is less than 5ft tall, takes our order, our money and gives us an empty plate and a buzzer. She explains when the buzzer goes off, our meals will be ready, then to bring our proof of purchase, the plate and we will be served. Because we are early, we get a brilliant seat looking out to sea but are more fascinated at watching people walking about looking for tables, carrying their empty plates….. Our buzzer goes off and we then watch our order taker climb up a small step ladder to retrieve our meals from the serving hatch, she see’s us smiling and smiles back, we wonder if she knows why….
We set off for Batemans Bay via Bingie Bingie point, another aborigine dreaming site and Congo a small 5 house village on the coast that you get to via another non sign posted dirt track road, fortunately we were in front of another vehicle, I say fortunately because the dust cloud we created was like a scene from a John Wayne movie…… We are now experienced enough and cheeky enough to ask the campsite for discount and the best site, we don’t get any discount but we do get the best site possible. Right on the beach with an unrestricted view of the sea, headland and Bay Island, that’s us sorted for the next three days…..
It’s rained most of the night and has continued most of the morning, we are driving, around Murrramarang National Park, listening to the news about flooding in areas we have already been to, when we suddenly do an emergency stop at the bequest of the passenger who has just seen an Australian King Parrot. The driver gets out in the rain to capture the moment whilst the passenger ensures the security of the van is maintained.
We see so many kangaroos roaming in the park, peoples gardens, children’s play areas and running alongside us that we start to become complacent about them, that said I’m not allowed to speed once we have passed a kangaroo sign.
Up bright and early as the sun is streaming through the windows, we set off for a beach to snorkel that is not covered in sea weed. After several false alarms we find what we call S&J cove as it’s small and all ours, but first lets have a coffee at the Organic Coffee House we saw just down the road.
Right, now imagine the house from Psycho with brand new black parasols with white ‘Organic Coffee Co’ writing on them outside and the scene is set. In we go and there are three ladies who appear to be possibly related, all appear to have their set responsibilities and all three have either had a blazing row or are just plain grumpy. One of them (Boss) sees us waiting and says, we will be with you in a minute, she then gives her sister (Waitress) one of those looks and asks what is she doing. Sister mumbles and grudgingly comes over to take our order, everything Julie asks for, she just says “No, we don’t do that” this is even though they have all the items, like a jacket potato and cheese, but even though they are listed on the menu separately you cannot have them as they are not listed together, therefore you have what’s listed or nothing at all. We place our order and are given an electronic buzzer. We settle down with a smile outside and wait. The buzzer goes off and sister no 3 (chef) opens a small window with one arm and delivers our order with the other one on to a small ledge held up with two wonky brackets and lets the window slam shut. We have to retrieve our drinks and food before the next order is delivered on top of them and we cause more staff consternation….. Service with a smile = Nil, Customer relations = Nil, Quality of Service = Nil, Entertainment value =10, Returning customers = No chance. We go snorkelling but the sand is so soft it is whipped up by the waves and we can see nothing, so we resort to what all holiday makers do, sunbathe….. Out for an early dinner, again best table in restaurant overlooking harbour, bay and Pelicans flying in to perch on top of the lampposts. On the way home we can now see obvious signs on the floor, why Australians do not stand under lampposts…..
Up even earlier to take sunrise photos, there is a mist hanging over the harbour entrance giving it a mysterious look but out to sea is really clear, the sky starts to lighten and redden, the mist starts to move out to sea, the clouds are now red and the sky is turning crimson, the mist is now out at sea.
The sun starts to rise, the mist is now a sea fog and I cannot see a bloody thing……. We arrive at our next camp site slightly earlier than normal for some reason….. The receptionist, who is a Hyacinth Bucket look a like, books us in. She is also a Justice of the Peace, a fact of which she is obviously proud of as she has a card behind her seat that has been printed on a home computer stating the fact. The rehabilitated offender jokes about her part time occupation and after another one of those looks and the put you down reply realises, she not only is a complete clone of H Bucket but owns the campsite and all the land around it…… Still she lets us choose our site and wow it’s even better than the last one, this time we are just feet away from the beach, so much so the passenger is nervous the driver will end up on it. Kangaroos are free to run around the site and its not long before we have them around the van. Perfect, you may think, the golden sands just feet away, the sounds of the waves breaking a few feet further and kangaroos at the front door. Just one problem, with Kangaroos goes Kangaroo poo, it’s all over the place and within a few walkabouts from the van to where ever, there is Kangaroo poo all over the van floor, best Mr Big Feet stays out of the way……
Off we go exploring the area along the cliffs watching waves cash against the rocks and spraying 50ft into the air, looking in rock pools and roo and bird spotting in the forest, exhausted we call into a local café for lunch. We start to talk to the proprietor about Café Pyscho when she tells us about someone asking her for a salad roll, which she refuses as they don’t do it, so the customer asks her for a hamburger without the meat, at least this café owner laughed at herself. The salad in the hamburger out here is enormous, it even includes beetroot, we know as Mr Big Mouth tried to eat one and ended up with it falling apart, spilling all over the place, whilst leaving a small trace on his nose…. Then it happened a bushman comes in and asks for a paddle handle, a what, we ask ourselves. As we sit with bated breath picking salad up and searching for tissues. We watch out of the corner of our eye as this fierce, tough looking, don’t mess with me man comes out eating a magnum type lolly…….
Back at camp and our last trip to the amenities of the day in the dark and we get mugged by possums and kangaroos who are all over the place. As we are cleaning our shoes, one of us is thinking, tomorrow night we stay in a not so eco friendly
establishment………
We put out sunflower seeds to attract them to us but get fed up waiting, so we go off on a forest walk with the ‘Be careful, there are leeches in the long grass‘ advice from the camp owner. Its wet, muddy and slippery, one of us climbs down an embankment and one of us turns the muddy embankment footpath into a super smooth 6 lane highway. The photo of the aftermath of this incident have had a order placed, banning them from publication….. We later find ourselves talking to some locals telling us where we can see sting rays and snorkel with hundreds of different fish, we thank them for creating tomorrows itinerary before they advise their children to take the steps and not the track for some reason…. They then also add ‘mind you don’t bump into the kangaroos that come into camp at night‘ and relate a story about last night and a 6ft kangaroo outside the amenities……..Do you fancy a tickle on the beach, is the proposition asked as dusk descends and before you know it we both start to undress, enter the water and start to splash about.
Within two minutes three stingrays are approaching our fingers, that are imitating distressed fish and swimming about our ankles. They swim over our feet, brushing up against our legs allowing our fingers to tickle their wings, one is at least four feet across and impresses our female tourist. After discussing the stingrays prior to sleep, Steve is smiling, not sure what to say in reply to “I’ve never seen one that big before”………
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