Week Six (6)

1st February - 7th February 2009

We leave Noosa and the friends we have made, heading towards Rainbow Beach where it has a total of 72 different coloured sands. The drive is dull due to driving through pine tree plantation after plantation and then we come to a 5km piece of road that is like being on a roller coaster, possibly with a couple of the inclines being steeper than those at some theme parks. The driver is taking it easy as he does not know the road but is thinking……..

Rainbow Beach the town is a huge disappointment, it is nothing more than 6 burger bars trying to disguise themselves as upmarket coffee bars, several of them even failed in that and managed to look worse than burger bars….We have a coffee but don’t linger over it and go to the beach, the tide has just started to recede, so not much sand to be seen. We identify 6 different colours in the sand but are amazed at the natural patterns being created in the sand by rocks, trees, stones, bits of wood and even footprints.

We dig down through some of these patterns and the pattern is still there, incredible. We don’t stop for lunch, for the obvious reason and because the driver who was thinking on the way into town, is about to execute his earlier thoughts. We get to the 5km roller coaster piece of road, which is almost perfectly straight, the speed increases and the speed limit exceeded, soon we are doing 110kms with no traffic around us, zooming up and down, Whooooooopppppppppe it’s like the Big One at Blackpool but without the drunken shaven headed tattooed moron and stupid screaming Sharon in the front seats.

We reach Tin Can Bay where the wild dolphins come in every morning to be fed by the early risers, we are amazed at the rules that have been made by the local café owner who volunteers to organise the feeding of these WILD ANIMALS, how can they be enforced? Our own thoughts are these rules are not only there for the protection of the dolphins but to increase the Café profits. Still, tomorrow morning we will be there before the all day drive to Mon Repos where we hope to see the Turtles hatching at Midnight, its going to be a long day for some one…..

A shower and we are first at the dolphin feeding, there is already one dolphin there but also at least 6 volunteer/jobsworths as well. Orders are given to us about washing our hands, taking our shoes off and not to touch the dolphin, we advise them we are not here to feed the dolphin but to have a coffee and watch. We listen to them for another ¾ hour instructing other spectators as to what they can / must do, when all of a sudden the 8am Wild Dolphin feeding ferry arrives, at this point all rules and regulations go out the window, Steve gets in a huff and returns to stand on the Jetty, even though having been told he can be fined 1200 Aus dollars for doing so. The procedure starts where, for the equivalent of a £1, you buy a fish and give it to the dolphin, the parents are all excited and spend between £5-£10 before they find out the kids are scared stiff to feed the dolphin. Our latte has long since gone and we have photos, some which include the dolphin, some which don’t. Put it like this, don’t ever stand in front of Steve with an itchy ar*e……  

So we leave the mummies feeding the dolphin with their excess fish and set off for Turtle hatching Mon Repos Beach, hoping it‘s not run on similar lines. We buy our tickets for less than £10 and instead of going to the Rum Factory, Ginger Beer factory, Sugar Cane Museum or Quantas Aviation Museum we settle for a late lunch /early dinner, as it appeared infinitely more interesting. 

Now at this point we were not to know that the £10 we had just spent was going to be the best value £10 we have ever spent in the combined 100 years of our lives ( I bet not many of you know Julie is 74yrs) we get to the Conservation centre and are in group 2, damn we could be here for ages but after half hour, 2 minutes behind group 1, we gather on the beach to watch loggerhead turtles hatch from under the sand we had earlier been walking along.

Because we have a torch we are asked to help the 125 hatchlings make their way to the sea by standing legs apart in the spoon position with our illumination dangling down between our legs, showing them the way. No sooner had we finished this, we were asked to play statues, as a female loggerhead had just started to climb the beach not more than 12ft away from us. There are about 30 of us now standing perfectly still, on a completely dark beach watching this turtle huff and puff her way above the tide line. She starts to dig her nest and we are allowed to move forward but now because the selfish ar*eholes that had pushed in front of Julie to see the turtle climb up the beach were now behind her, she and Steve get a front row view of the turtle digging her nest and then laying her eggs.

We are then moved around to the front of our egg layer and watched her finish the whole process by burying the eggs and levelling the site before struggling back down the beach into the waves.

It was now 23.15hrs and possibly the most entertaining night of the whole holiday, do we stay and do it again? The answer to that is No, we are getting out of here as it’s the worst wet season Queensland has had in 73 years, yet another cyclone has caused more flooding to the North of us, people we spoke to, who were trapped by the floods themselves, advised us against it especially as our van is not 4wd and a news report of a woman running over a crocodile outside her daughters school gates was the deciding factor, so tomorrow its back to NSW. That said, we would not have missed tonight for anything, when we say amazing and magical, it’s the first time we are not referring to our male hero…..

We recycle the empty bottles and then check how many hatchlings we saw last night reach the sea (the rangers dig out the nest and count the egg sacs) 131 we are told, we also notice that group 1 only saw a turtle laying her eggs, not the hatchlings, so who say’s its best to come first….. We are then backtracking our route north only a few days ago to get to the sun and comparative safety of New South Wales, we reach the border and settle for one last night in Queensland, where we can see Brisbane Silhouetted on the horizon from the beach, farewell Queensland, we will be back.

Are we up early or did we get up late, who knows, we travel ½ mile and have to put the clocks forward an hour as we are now in New South Wales. The drive is a drag until we get to Nambucca Heads, this town won us over, it did not look as shabby as a lot of other towns we have driven through.  It was just big enough with what we have decided is normal housing, it had three bays all different, a river estuary that had sand beds in it so that when the tide was out there was a myriad of colours, it was green, it had mountains in the background, putting it bluntly it was just beautiful.

We wanted to stay but are under a time constraint of being in the Blue Mountains for Friday, Julies Birthday. So we drive a few more hours to Port Macquarie, the fussy one of us does not like the campsite, so we continue, he does not like the next one either, thankfully TomTom’s points of interest finds us another one right on the beach. It’s quiet, in fact I think we are the only people staying here, but we again go to sleep with the sounds of the waves breaking 150m away.

Another day driving but it means we will be doing what the birthday girl wants to do on her day and are better placed for the next few weeks touring Southern NSW. The highlight of the day was ordering a bacon and egg roll after driving about 200 miles, the low light of the day was eating it…….

Its our girls Birthday today, so she is woken up gently with soft music, freshly squeezed fruit juices, champagne, lightly buttered muffins, crumpets, toast and tea, all served by a scantily dressed muscle toned Adonis. That’s what she dreamed, what she actually got was Steve in his jockeys and a cup of tea.…. Still we go off to Katoomba and go on the worlds steepest funicular railway to get to the bottom of a Blue mountain gorge, we walk around for several hours learning about how the forest regenerates itself. We walk almost under Katoomba falls taking pictures of just about everything. The sun is shining and creates a lovely mottled affect on the forest floor and then comes the moment of having to get back to the top. This is going to be by cable car, Birthday Girl is apprehensive and starts to sweat profusely whilst in the queue. She boards it and gives a nervous smile as if everything is okay, the hand holding the guard rail has white knuckles and then we are off suspended over the forest tree tops for 5 minutes. We step onto solid ground and BG says, “ I enjoyed that, it was good, you could see everything”

Now where do we go for a birthday dinner, we are in Katoomba and the last time we ate here, it was in the appalling Italian Restaurant disguised as a downmarket Café….. We look through a local tourist guide magazine showing all the upmarket dining rooms, now we are talking, there is plush and plusher, yum yum. Birthday Girl gets to choose, Steve is hinting at a restaurant called “Echoes” overlooking a blue mountain gorge with a haute cuisine menu, No I think we should try the Carrington Hotel Bistro, says BG. So having dressed for the occasion we set off into this overly decorated Victorian mansion, where it’s own advertising states “High tea in the elegance of a bygone era” O how right they are, we suddenly become time travellers, stepping back in time almost a hundred years, except for the clothes everyone is wearing, these are only forty years behind us. We approach the concierge and ask “Where is the Tardis” he gives us directions to the Bistro, where BG had to leave 50% of her steak and Steve left absolutely stuffed. Not a bad meal but was the view as good as “Echoes” I’ll let you be the judge of that, BG had to look at me…….Happy Birthday Little One.

Right, plans have been changed yet again, we are going on our last long drive, down to the Snowy Mountains National Park, where the scenery is suppose to be stunning and so different to the rest of the country, we can then head for the coast and take a leisurely 3 week drive north back to Sydney. So it’s 400kms, lets get started. Ouch, Steve hit’s his head, Ouch, Steve cut’s himself shaving, being so astute Steve thinks this is not going to be a good day…..Now dear reader I want you to imagine the scene, the Sun is shining, it’s 37 degrees, the sky is a brilliant deep blue as there is no air pollution, we have been on the road for the past 6 hrs and are 15kms from the campsite, it’s Saturday afternoon (half day closing) so the streets are deserted and we come across a straight stretch of slightly undulating country road that has a 100km speed limit , whilst we have the equivalent to 2400 horses under our buttocks. We can see for miles and there is NO traffic in front or behind us, so the driver increases his speed somewhat and is enjoying cruising around the 120km mark, when out from one of the undulations, approaching us is a bright blue car, as is roars pass us we notice the blue and white chequered stripe along it’s side, we look in the off side wing mirror and notice it’s brake lights are on, that there are now some red and blue flashing lights on it’s roof and that it’s turned around and is now behind us. Being so astute we think does he suspect us of something or should we pull over and let him pass. We pull over and wait for his car to roar pass us, we wait so long Steve gets out of the car to look for him, crickey he’s pulled over as well. The officer gets out and explains to Steve he is on TV, well the in police car video, that has also recorded the radar clocking this camper van doing 116kms, Steve knows this is not going to go well as the officer is smartly dressed in dark and light blue whilst Steve is in a Pink linen shirt and red swimming shorts. Clash, I‘d say they do……. When asked if there is a reason for this speed, the answer was well thought out “ I doing a survey to see if the people we passed half hour ago, smile as they go pass us know” Officer 1, Steve 0. Driving licence produced, Q. Is this your current address? R. No, we have just moved to Spain. Q. Why have you not got a Spanish Driving Licence? The reply lasted almost 4 minutes and consisted of the words, Padron, Residencia, ITV, Escritura amongst others at which point our officer moved onto another form of questioning about the vehicle and the last time Steve had had a drink. Officer 1, Steve 1. Breathalyser passed, Officer 1, Steve 2. Checks are made via NSW Police computer and Steve is given a small piece of paper to take to the post office, Officer 82, Steve 2. Five minutes later we pull into the camp site and the receptionist say’s “Have you had a pleasant journey” Julie books us in and Steve goes and has a beer……

Survey Result: 100% laughed or at least smiled…… Bas*ards….